Today is one of those lonely days. The weight of closing everyone else out, for so long that they don't even care anymore, has caught up with me. Every time I go to pick up the phone to call someone I put it down again. What will I tell them? Hey, I'm sad. There is nothing you can do to help me. No, I don't want to talk about it. I really don't want to have to talk at all. I just don't want to be alone. I don't want to be with anyone either. So, what is the point of getting anyone else involved in my sadness. Pretty pathetic, right? I am so bored that I want to do something. When I try to do something I am tired and I can't focus (at all) so naturally I end up doing nothing. Depressed, ADD, no money and no friends. There is no winning in this situation. When Thomas is home that fills some of me. But he is not always here and as he gets older he will need me less and less and then what will I do? Who will I have?